The Serious Case of Decaying Living Bodies

 

It is call Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome (SMAS).

I’ve written before about how it all started. Although I couldn’t understand it then, nor it had been confirmed at the time, when I wrote ‘With A View to Eternity’ I knew that I had SMAS. I meant every word, I was resolved to glorify God with this illness and anything that it would bring, to the best of my abilities. 

SMAS is a rare, serious, sometimes life-threatening digestive disorder in which the small intestine is crushed by the mesenteric artery for lack of the fat pad that surround that portion of the intestine keeping the artery away.. it causes pain, nausea, gas, cramps, reflux, and just about every digestive distress you can imagine when you eat -well.. anything!! You deal with this long enough and you lose weight. Here’s the catch,  remember when I said this condition is the crushing of an intestine for lack of fat? That means its “CAUSE” is weight loss.. talk about a catch 22, right?

I’ve been dealing with this for little over a year, I've lost over 45 lbs, and I'm considered clinically malnourished. I admit that at this point everything it starting to take a toll on me. In the last year my menu has shrunk as much as I have, since my stomach doesn't tolerate many things, and I've endured two surgeries.

TWO surgeries within a year. My menu still shrinking by the week. Not only I am still not able to eat red meats and fried foods, which was a result of the gallbladder surgery, but now I cannot have sweets of any kind and seemingly restaurant food no matter how "healthy" the meal may be. And that's what I've tested so far, still more to try. 

BUT -I knew this could happen.

The truth is our organs slowly cease to function the older we get anyways. That includes our digestive system. Allergies develop or worsen. Intolerances develop or worsen. We are decaying living bodies. 

What do I mean by that? Although only dead organisms decay, our living bodies are not untouched and unaffected by death. Reality is that because this is a cursed, fallen, broken world (Gen 3), not working under God's original design, which that includes us as humans, our bodies are suffering the consequences of an also decaying world.

The food we eat, the water we drink, the air we breath... no matter how pure, organic, or healthy we try to make it will already be contaminated by the roteness that has been building up in this world millennia after millennia since the Fall of Adam and Eve. The bacteria that lives in our bodies, the genetic differences and abnormalities we are already born with then interact with a world that is in pain, just like us, waiting for redemption (Romans 8:22) and form an even more painful experience for us to endure in this life.

We are decaying living (I put that caveat because we do live in a constant state of decay) bodies.

So, yes. It is still annoying, frustrating, and very emotional to find out that two surgeries didn't solved the problem. That I cannot eat what and how I used to eat. Having to be extra flexible on plans in case I have to go back to the hospital. But it is not surprising and it is most certainly NOT surprising to God. He already knew all of this would happen. He had ordained to be so. Not because He wanted me to suffer but because He knew, wants, and plans for me to grow and learn much from this experience. 

There is no escaping the serious case of decaying living bodies but if we accept that God already knew the broken would produce that and had planned to make something good IN us through it, we can (would) endure better. Paul David Tripp always says, "we don't just suffer what we suffer but how we suffer"... We can't escape the decay, even as we learn. We won't escape the pain, the suffering, nor the frustration. But we can begin to understand its purpose if we stop asking 'why?' and begin to ask 'what for?'

I cannot answer that for you. 

For me, He's teaching me patience- having to wait for the testing days and enduring in the meantime. 

Stillness- trusting Him with the dozens of things I have going but fall behind because of how weak or sick I am. 

Humility- Having to ask for help to do things at home and at church, again because of how weak or sick I am, this has been a long time struggle, and unless I was put in this position I wouldn't have learned it. "It is good for me that I was afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes" (Psalm 119:71).

'What for?' doesn't give us an explanation for our suffering, it gives us an awareness of God's sanctifying work in our lives.