Why God Didn’t Change my Plans

Here’s the thing, I am not doing anything of what I had planned to do with my life. Not even close.

By now, almost 31 years of age, I would have been married for quite a few years and with, at least, a kid. I would be working for the Air Force, or FBI, as an attorney. I would live in Portland, Oregon. I would have traveled the world.

I think we all know that, no matter how well we plan something we must make back up plans in case we get detoured.

Detours!

They sound fun, even adventurous, but they are really not. They delay your plans and take you through unknown paths. 

Detours can be of benefit, however. You could learn a new route and tricks along the way. They could work out as a shortcut and get to your destination faster. But more than often, they are a hazard to your original plans.

My life took quite a few detours during my 20’s. In a nutshell, I enlisted in the Air Force to make it a career and found love. Unfortunately, neither of those two things worked out very well. My relationships fell apart, I developed quite a few disabilities and, eventually, was discharged from the military.

Remember when I said we all should have a back up plan? Well, I had one, maybe two. I was going to go move to Oregon, go to Law School and work for the FBI. I had a plan, I was driven, I had ‘my life together’… or so everyone thought.

Applying for Law School when English it’s not your first language is not that easy. So, I thought, I am going to travel, gain life experience, learn English and then apply again. Sounds pretty awesome, right? If only it had been that easy.

I, then, found myself on a wheelchair, in and out of the hospital and in horrible pain. The Doctors could not find a solution, they knew the problem, but they thought I was ‘too young’ for their standard procedures. Long story short, my life, once again, took another detour. Except this time the detour changed my entire desired destination.

In the midst of all that, I learned to surrender. I thought I knew how to work with God. I thought I had to trust in Him and involve Him in my plans, but that is not how God works.

Perhaps, the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make was to give up my chances of ever baring my own children… but I had to; my health depended on it. This changed a big part of my plans.

Want to know how this story ends? Like I said, I am almost 31 years old, I am not studying Law, nor I will, I cannot have kids, I do not yet have a boyfriend, and only God knows where I will end up working.

How did God, then, didn’t changed my plans? Well, the way God operates it’s not based on our goals and desires. He operates based on His will and plans. God didn’t have to change my plans because my plans were never an option for my life, God only followed His own plan for me. God didn’t change my plans, but He changed my heart.

The most amazing part of this experience is that, many times I was frustrated and confused about why God didn’t made things better. Why did I had to suffer? Why was I in so much pain? Why did I had to lose the ability to have kids? Why? Why? Why?

God owes us nothing. His plans are higher than our plans and His thoughts higher than our thoughts (Jeremiah 29:11). His sovereign will is perfect and good for us. In that goodness, even though God doesn’t have to, He allows us to see the big picture. The moment I surrendered to His will and applied to go to Seminary, He answered my question: why?

He showed me how everything I went through had a purpose, how He was going to make 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, come alive in me. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God”.

Every trial, every step, every pain -made sense. God was there for me, pulling me through and preparing better days in which I was going to be able to use those experiences to comfort and encourage others.

God didn’t change my plans. God followed His own plan for my life, and in the process changed my heart.